Bite Me Spider Read online

  James motored along the coast, keeping his eye open for an ideal patch of reeds. He found a good spot and turned off the engine, allowing the momentum of the boat to carry it forward. He nestled it inside a patch of reeds and then put the anchor over the side. Then he walked through the shallows in his rubber suspenders until he was on solid land. Once he was on land he took off the rubber suspenders and tucked them under a tarp that he found nearby. He didn’t want to wear the suspenders while he was exploring, as they tended to slow him down. He was wearing jeans underneath and carried a pair of sneakers tied together with their laces over his shoulders. As he was lacing up his shoes he heard footsteps.

  Before James could get out of sight, a shadow fell across his face and an angry voice shouted “What the fuck!”

  Chapter 5

  A young man in a track suit was standing before him.

  “Sorry to yell at you like that,” the young man said. “I didn’t see you there and you gave me a little bit of a scare.”

  “Likewise,” James said and spat on the ground. He had pulled his pistol and had clicked off the safety.

  “No need to use that,” the kid said nervously. “I’m just poking around, trying to find some supplies.”

  Rather than reply, James merely put the gun back in his holster. He hadn’t planned on using it. He just wanted to make sure that anyone he ran into knew he was armed.

  “Say buddy, are you from this town?” the younger guy asked.

  “Nope.”

  “Me neither.” The kid frowned.

  James looked the younger guy up and down. He was tall and lanky. He couldn’t see the kid’s eyes, due to the fact that he kept them hidden behind sunglasses, which James thought was a little funny, considering how overcast the weather was. He also noticed that the track suit the guy wore was badly stained and had quite a few holes in it, which meant that the kid was on his own and probably didn’t have too many new clothes left. James spat again, knelt back down, and finished lacing his other shoe.

  “Say there, buddy. What’s your name?” the kid asked.

  James thought about telling the kid to fuck off, but then reconsidered. “James,” he said, standing back up.

  “I’m Steve,” the younger guy said and held out his hand. James gave it a quick shake. He’d guess that the kid was about twenty years old.

  Steve looked down, shuffled his feet, and then looked back up. “Hey, I just had an idea, James. Why don’t we head into town together? You’ve got your gun, so you could keep us covered if anyone there wants to start any trouble. And I could grab stuff for both of us while you keep a look out. And we can both keep our eyes open for those bastard spiders. You know how they can suddenly come swarming down out of nowhere…”

  James thought about this for a second without responding.

  “And you know what they say…” Steve added. “Two heads are better than one.”

  “I don’t think so,” James said, politely but firmly. “But I wish you good luck.”

  Steve nodded, looked down, kicked a rock, and then looked up again.

  “I understand,” he said slowly. “I mean, I know that most people nowadays are keeping to themselves. It seems that’s the best way. After all, it’s hard to trust people during times like this. Especially if you didn’t know them before the spiders took over… But, I don’t know, at some point we’ve all got to start working together, you know, at least those of us that are left. I figure there are less than a hundred of us altogether, up and down this whole coast. At some point, we’re going to have to cooperate with each other…if we’re ever going to rebuild.”

  James took a longer look at the kid. The sunglasses he wore were mirrored shades, so that his eyes were completely covered. All James saw was his own face, doubled in the two lenses, looking back at him with a thicker beard and a meaner expression than he thought he had. He mused that his reflection looked like a stranger.

  “Alright,” James said slowly. “Normally I prefer to travel alone, but I suppose we can head in to town together this one time.”

  Steve smiled. “Right on, man. Remember, there’s strength in numbers.”

  James doubted that two people would make much difference against a horde of a million spiders, but it did mean they could look in two directions at once. He just hoped the kid wasn’t too big of a fuck up. Steve already struck him as a little wet behind the ears and slightly over confident. Which isn’t exactly the best combination of traits.

  As they walked into town – James just called it “town,” but it had a name that he didn’t try to catch – Steve kept saying that he wanted to stop at a Seven Eleven and at the pharmacy. This worked for James. He had intended to raid the pharmacy, anyway. And this was always a chance-y move. Pharmacies were popular spots for looters looking for both medical supplies and drugs like morphine so they could get high and forget that they lived in an apocalyptic wasteland. Having another set of eyes would be an asset. Maybe Steve was right about that after all.

  The streets were all empty and the store fronts they passed looked undisturbed for the most part. The citizens were all dead, no doubt. But because it was a smaller town, not that many other survivors had landed there and looted it yet.

  “Looks like a pharmacy right up ahead,” Steve said rather loudly. His loud voice annoyed James, since he didn’t know how the spiders sensed humans, whether it was from the noise they made, from their smell, or from the vibrations of their footsteps, or something else altogether. He would rather play it safe by creeping in as quietly as possible.

  “Let’s keep it down,” he said softly. “I’m not trying to be a dick, but I’m not trying to get us killed either.”

  “Okay boss,” Steve said, slightly less loud than before.

  They crept up to the pharmacy, still without seeing anyone else or any spiders. The pharmacy was the “mom and pop” variety, rather than a chain store. Normally James preferred the small town pharmacies, but not in this case. Smaller pharmacies were less likely to carry Algopyrin, which was the most important thing on his list. As he thought about the Algopyrin his thoughts turned to Carol and the frequent headaches she was having. He swallowed his worry so he could focus on the task at hand. He needed to stay sharp, get what he needed, and then get back to the fishing boat.

  He and Steve tried the front door and found it locked. Whoever had closed up the place from the inside had neglected to turn the CLOSED sign around, so that it looked OPEN from the outside. That probably meant that whoever had worked there was still inside, no doubt bloated from spider bites and stinking to high heaven. James had had his fill of coming across corpses and hoped that wasn’t the case, especially in a closed up establishment where the smell would be unbearable.

  Steve prepared to kick in the glass fronts of the doors but James stopped him.

  “Let’s try the back first,” he whispered. “We don’t want to make a lot of noise. That’ll only bring the spiders.”

  Steve nodded, but with a begrudging manner, as if James had stopped him from doing something he would find enjoyable. He reluctantly slunk back over and the two men went around the side of the building. There was a fence around the back but they hopped it. They found the back door and tried the handle. It was open after all, which meant that they didn’t have to make a lot of racket getting inside.

  “You stay outside and keep guard,” Steve said in a voice that James didn’t like. He decided that it was time to set the kid straight.

  “You don’t tell me what to do. Not now, not ever,” he said in as cold a voice as he could muster.

  Steve put up his hands and showed his palms to indicate he didn’t mean anything by it. “Hey buddy, I’m sorry. I just thought it was a good idea, that’s all.”

  James looked at his younger companion and decided he was being a little too uptight. “No harm, no foul. But remember, I’m the one who calls the shots.”

  “You got it buddy.”

  “Now, do me a favor and get me some Algopyri
n while you’re in there.”

  “Some what?”

  “Algopyrin.” James spelled it out loud for the younger guy but got the impression that he wasn’t really listening.

  “Okay, you got it. What is that stuff anyway?” Steve asked.

  “It’s for really bad headaches.”

  “Oh, you get really bad headaches?”

  “Yeah,” James grumbled. “Like you’re giving me a really bad headache right now.”

  Steve chuckled. “Sorry buddy. Okay. I’ll get that stuff for you for sure. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Steve disappeared into the darkness of the pharmacy. James could hear him rustling around inside. He could tell that the kid was sweeping things off of shelves, knocking things over for no reason. His sloppiness bothered him. After all, other people would be raiding the pharmacy at some point. They would probably be folks just like him and his family, in need of some medicine. With this jackass in there making such a mess of the place, it would be much harder to find whatever they needed. James reflected that some people are just better suited for civilization than others. This made him think that Steve’s little speech about people rebuilding was more of a put-on than a heartfelt sentiment. Oh well, he reflected, he wasn’t a bad kid. Just a little bit of a fuck up. James smiled, remembering that he was pretty much the same way when he was twenty years old.

  Steve ended up taking a long time inside the pharmacy. James figured that he was probably a drug addict and was doing drugs in there. James was just about to call inside when he heard a noise.

  It wasn’t a threatening noise. To the contrary, it was a glorious sound. It was the sound of a dog barking.

  James hadn’t heard a dog bark since the start of the spider invasion. He savored the sound. Although he had to wonder how it was that a dog had survived. Was there another human being around? Or a group of human beings? Or had the dog somehow managed to survive by fending on its own? He continued to listen to the far off yaps. He could tell from the sound of the bark, that it was a smaller dog that made it. He made a mental note to go check it out after their pharmacy raid.

  He put his head in the back door and was just about to call Steve when the younger guy emerged from the darkness. He was zipping up his backpack and had a satisfied smile on his face.

  “Did you pick up the Algopyrin?” James asked.

  “The what?”

  “The Algopyrin? You know, the thing I sent you in there to look for?”

  “Oh yeah, I looked for it. They didn’t have any.”

  James frowned. “Wait here…” he said and pushed past the kid.

  The inside of the pharmacy looked like a hurricane had hit it. He was right. Steve had ransacked the place. Drawers were pulled out and the contents emptied on the floor. The cash register was opened and empty. James didn’t care too much about this. After all, money was totally useless in this day and age. Maybe Steve was hording cash for the day that society got back on track. Whatever, he shrugged and went to the drug supply. Luckily the stock was labelled alphabetically. He was able to locate the Algopyrin with ease. Contrary to what Steve had said, there were a few boxes of the drug. James opened his backpack and loaded all.

  Before heading back out into the sunlight, James grabbed a couple of packs of Camels from a locked case that he had to kick open. Then he hopped over the counter to look through the stock of general items the pharmacy kept on hand. What are the chances of this place carrying dog food, he wondered? Sure enough, there was an aisle labeled Pet Supplies. He found a bag of Doggy Snacks and threw this in his bag. Then he headed back outside.

  He found Steve leaned against the back of the pharmacy, arms folded, taking a nap. He was either taking a nap or nodding off, he wasn’t sure which. And he was sure that if he asked him, Steve wouldn’t give him a straight answer. Not that James really cared. His venture with the kid was almost done and he would probably never see him again.

  “Did they have it?” Steve asked, trying to seem interested.

  “Yeah, they had some,” James said crisply. “Next time, if you can’t find something, just tell me. Don’t act like you looked and couldn’t find it.”

  “Alright boss,” Steve said again, with more than a trace of sarcasm in his voice. This boss stuff was starting to get on James’ nerves but he didn’t give Steve a hard time about it. Pick your battles, he reminded himself.

  “Do you hear that dog bark?” James asked.

  Steve listened with his ear to the wind. “Yeah,” he said, a smile coming over his face.

  “Let’s swing by and try to find it.” James said. He said this as a matter of fact, rather than asking the younger man if he was up for it. Steve didn’t object, however, and so they set off in the direction of the dog’s bark.

  The heartwarming sound was coming from about a block away. James would have guessed it was coming from someone’s house, but it was coming from inside a pet store. He looked inside the window and saw that all the animals were dead. Except for one dog – a Shih Tzu – that was barking in the midst of the dead animals. Poor little sucker, James thought to himself. It was so tiny. He guessed that it was still a puppy. He also wondered how the thing could still be alive. Had the spiders decided to spare it for some reason? That didn’t seem likely. James finally just shrugged, accepting the Shih Tzu’s survival as a mystery that he would never solve.

  The door to the pet shop was open, and so James stepped inside while Steve waited out front to keep guard. Rather than attempt to chase the little fur ball, James opened up his bag of Dog Snacks that he had pilfered from the pharmacy and held one out in his hand. The Shih Tzu yapped and came running right over. Not only was the little dog still quite alive, it looked healthy and well groomed. James was amazed that it had lasted these long weeks without a human to tend to its needs. Oh well, he shrugged. Why look a gift horse in the mouth?

  Speaking of gift horses, he decided that he would take the adorable little dog back as a gift for Carol. So she could have a companion. He often felt bad for his daughter, not having any playmates aboard The Happy Clam. The only tricky thing was getting the puppy back without the thing making a bunch of noise and drawing the spiders out of wherever they were resting. James noted that the dog ceased its yapping while it was munching on the doggy snack. That’s the trick, James said to himself. Keeping the little animal fed. He just hoped he had enough Doggy Snacks to keep it occupied until he could get it back to the boat.

  He picked the adorable creature up and cradled it in his arms. He realized in that instant just how precious life is. Even a life as tiny as this little dog is magical, especially in an environment as brutal as the one that he and the rest of humanity had been thrown into.

  James walked back outside the shop with the dog under his arm. Steve was leaned against the brick front, nodding off again or napping, James couldn’t tell which.

  “Thanks for keeping guard,” James said, waking Steve up.

  “Huh?” Steve blinked his sleepy eyes. “Oh hey, what a cute little dog. Is that a Shih Tzu?”

  “Yeah,” James said. “I think I’m going to keep him.”

  “What’s its name anyway?”

  “I think I’ll call him Steve.”

  Steve frowned.

  “Just kidding. I don’t know what his name is. I’ll decide that later.”

  At that point, the Shih Tzu gave another loud yap.

  “Shhh,” James said in a harsh whisper. “You’re going to get us killed.”

  The dog yapped again.

  “Here…” he said, digging in the bag for another snack. “Chew on this…”

  Sure enough, the doggy snack calmed the Shih Tzu back down. He quietly munched in James’s arms as he and Steve walked down the street. James was pleased. Not only did the dog stay quiet, but Steve stayed quiet as well. James guessed that whatever drug he’d taken inside the pharmacy had had a sedative effect on the younger man.

  Just like the pharmacy, the Seven Eleven appeared to not have be
en looted. There were a couple of dead bodies out front in the parking lot, bloated from spider venom and cooked by the summer sun, but this wasn’t at all unusual. James had seen so many corpses by that point that he was almost used to them. At the same time, their constant presence reminded him that life was fleeting.

  Suddenly he wanted to be back in the boat with his wife and kid. The Shih Tzu started to get restless in his arms, so he fed the puppy another doggy snack. He reflected that he’d gone through half the bag already and made a mental note to look for more doggy snacks inside the Seven Eleven. Although James couldn’t relax entirely while he knew the spiders were around, he found himself feeling a little happier than usual, mostly because he anticipated the moment he would give the Shih Tzu to Carol. He could picture his daughter’s elated expression and almost hear her happy cry.

  James tried the front door of the Seven Eleven and found it open. While James let himself inside Steve walked over to the front of the building. James saw that he was unzipping his pants. What the fuck was this kid doing, he asked himself. He stuck his head back outside the door.

  “Hey guy, what the hell are you doing?”

  “Taking a piss!” Steve practically shouted.

  “There’s a bathroom inside the store,” James said.

  “Yeah, but one of the nice things about living in a wasteland is that you can piss wherever you want.”

  Steve pulled out his dick and started to urinate on the front of the building. James frowned and wondered why members of the younger generation were such a bunch of idiots. He didn’t care where this jerk pissed, but he worried that he was going to bring the attention of the spiders.

  As Steve urinated he put his head back and gave a deep groan of relief. It was overly theatric and probably done just to piss James off. Steve’s groan was so loud that it was almost a bellow. James figured it could be heard half way across town. What a fucking asshole, he grumbled.

  Steve was still pissing when James heard it: a vast rustling sound, like the movement of a million hairy legs and a million chewing mandibles. It was a disgusting, gurgling sound that for some reason reminded James of boiling pretzels. The spiders were approaching.